Decisions were made by going “eeny-meeny-miney moe”?

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, “Do Over!”?

“Race issue” meant arguing about who ran the fastest?

Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening?

It wasn’t odd to have two or three “Best Friends”?

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was “cooties”?

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?

A foot of snow was a dream come true?

Saturday morning cartoons weren’t 30-minute commercials for action figures?

”Oly-oly-oxen-free” made perfect sense?

Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles?

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?

War was a card game? Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle? Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin?

Water balloons were the ultimate weapons?

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, he burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” he said, “Careful! Put in some more butter! Oh my G-d! You’re cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my G-d! Where are we going to get more butter? They’re going to stick!  Careful... Careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt! "The wife stared at him. “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs? "The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving. "

Contributed by: Milton and Denise Franks-Lherman

Short and funnies

I dialed a number and got the following recording: “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.

 "Aspire to inspire before you expire.

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

The irony of life is that, by the time you’re old enough to know your way around, you’re not going anywhere.

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Contributed by: Pat Zuckerman

 Male or Female?

Swiss army knife - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

Tire - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

Photocopier - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

Sponges - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

Web page - female, because it is always getting hit on.

Subway - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

Remote control - female... Ha! You thought I’d say male. But consider, it gives man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Contributed by: Gizi Ben-Tovim