Food for fun lovers  Get ready to groan

- When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

- Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

- A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

- A boiled egg is hard to beat.

- When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Pat Zuckerman

What is love - and food for 4 to 7 year olds

- "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

- "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."  Terri - aged 4

- "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."  Danny - aged 7

- "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."   Elaine - aged 5

Business Slogans

- On a septic tank truck in Oregon: "Yesterday's meals on wheels."

- Pizza shop slogan: In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."

- On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

- A sandwich walks into a bar and the barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

- A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

- Coffee, chocolate, men -  some things are just better rich.

- A woman is like a tea bag - you don't know how strong she is until you  put her in hot water.

David Zimet

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* A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.

"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly.

Randie Denker

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* The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.

Jaffa Stockhammer