Illustration: Denis Shifrin

We Israelis are noisy. Israelis don't talk to each other, we shout at each other. The decibel level in the dining room of an Eilat hotel compares with that at New York's Grand Central Station during the rush hour. A peaceful hike through the pastoral Galilee is invariably disturbed by the interactions of a family arguing at high volume about who forgot to bring the ketchup. An after-lunch snooze on a poolside sun-bed just about anywhere in the world will inevitably be interrupted by the screech of a nine-year old informing his mummy and everyone else that this little Hebrew speaker needs to pee. The proud possessor of a high-powered sports car, or even of a second-hand scooter, proclaims his presence by revving his engine close to maximum before disappearing in a cloud of carbon monoxide. And when, sooner or later, he is forced to wait for the traffic light to change, he ensures that all around him will appreciate the power of his 100 watt speakers pounding out the latest in fusion jazz or near-eastern rock.

It is well known that 1/10th of a second is measured in Israel by the time interval between the traffic light changing from red to amber and the intemperate blast of the horn from the driver second in line. Car and house alarms are designed to be loud and particularly nerve-wracking, but this does nothing to deter thieves, and false alarms are so frequent that such alarms are universally ignored, meaning that they sound off for long minutes at all hours of the day and night. Your neighbor’s teenage son is likely to be a budding, but talentless drummer, trumpeter or simple lover of music that he is unable to enjoy unless played to the maximum capacity of his loudspeakers. Neighbors arrange parties accompanied by amplified bass and other instruments of aural torture, and feel that if, in the best cases, they have troubled to notify you – and even invite you – this is their license to keep the entire neighborhood awake until the early hours of the morning. The neighbors also have dogs which bark hysterically whenever another dog passes by or when a cat ventures close to their territorial preserve. It is also your neighbor’s right to renovate his home, meaning pneumatic drilling, hammering and shouted instructions in Russian, Arabic, Chinese and sometimes also Hebrew from just after dawn, six days a week, for weeks on end. It is also axiomatic that on the day your neighbor on one side finishes with his renovations, your neighbor on the other side will start with his.

There are of course all kinds of local ordinances that are intended to preserve some semblance of reasonable human intercourse. One is not meant to play music between 14:00 hours and 16:00 hours, nor after 23:00 hours without a special license. Building contractors are not meant to start work before 07:00 hours. Car and house alarms are meant to switch themselves off after a minute or so. But just you try to enforce your right to a quiet life. A polite request to an inconsiderate neighbor may sometimes work, but may just as easily be impolitely ignored. Except in the case of really gross and frequent violations the police will rarely intervene. Countermeasures, such as retaliatory noise-making, are unlikely to be effective. Worse, they may lead to a total breakdown in neighborly relations, and you really don’t want the authorities to be tipped off about your permit-less pergola, or about your visa-less daily help, or about your non-declared pocket money derived from giving the occasional English lesson.

I have not researched the subject on an international level and I do not know for sure whether we Israelis are noisier than your average American, German or Italian. However, I suspect that we are, and I can theorize about why this is. Firstly, this is still an immature country populated largely by immigrants not all of whom arrived from a cultural background where mutual respect for the other man’s peace and quiet is a given.

Secondly, I think it may stem from the very fact that here we are, the Jewish people, finally in our own land, and no longer having to keep our heads down and our mouths shut for fear of alienating the majority who have condescended to allow us to live in their midst. We can now proclaim, happily and loudly, that we are here, alive, proud, independent and with the right to do so openly and without fear of rebuke.

It may take another few years, even a generation, to get over this exuberance and for us to settle down, acquire better manners and lose some of the antisocial expressions of our independence. If I am right, then a little excessive noise in the meantime is not such a terrible price to pay. And there are always ear-plugs, Assival or medicinal brandy to help us through.

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