By Jeffrey Lanesman, David Lanesman and Hazel Skapinker

Ralph Lanesman stands out as a husband, a father, a grandfather, a father-in-law, a son, a brother, a friend, a neighbor, a community leader, and a colleague. But most of all, someone whom everyone has looked up to with respect; repeatedly everyone who has ever known our Dad says the same thing - Ralph was an amazing man.

As our parents' neighbor said of him, "Ralph was like a great vintage car. They don't make his model anymore."

Our Dad, Ralph, passed away on September 9, 2012 following a brief period of illness, in a manner that exemplified the way in which he lived his entire life - with dignity, kindness, compassion, purposefulness and bravery. He was our father and teacher, the anchor of our values and our moral compass, but more importantly, he was a friend to us all. Always kind and patient, he was happy to dispense advice, in a manner that was totally non-judgmental and accepting of others' choices and differences of opinion.

A wise and intelligent man, he loved companionship, and pursued justice and peace - in both words and deeds. He was a man who assumed responsibility for everything, especially for his community.

Ralph was born in October 1925 in Pretoria, South Africa. He was the son of poor immigrants from Latvia and England. He lost his father when he was very young. As he grew up, he excelled in everything he undertook - in his studies, work, sports, family involvement and community involvement - all while maintaining his humanity. At the young age of 8, he started working to assist his mother in her business.

Despite this he graduated from high school with distinction, and above all he found time for what was important to him: to attend daily Cheder, where he studied Judaism and Hebrew. He was among the first in South Africa to finish his matriculation with a distinction in Hebrew. His Hebrew was fluent, and by the time he came on aliyah, he was excused from ulpan on his first day as the teacher felt that she had nothing to offer him.

He became a member of Habonim at a very young age and remained active in the movement until the 1950s.

Upon completing high school, a friend offered him work as a junior clerk in an auditor's office. He worked there until he came to live in Israel almost 40 years later. By that time he was the senior managing partner of the firm.

During those years he served in the Israel Defense Forces as a member of Machal in the War of Independence; and he was extremely proud of that fact until his last days. After arriving from Gaeta, Italy, aboard a small fishing vessel, crowded with refugees on September 17, 1948, he was stationed in Bat Yam, Safed and Givat Olga serving in the radar unit. His involvement with Machal and his passion to keep alive the memory of the contribution of South African Machalniks continued for the duration of his life.

Ralph was a leader of the Jewish community in Pretoria from the 1940s until the late 1970s. He served in most major Jewish institutions in Pretoria in the capacity of chairman, president or treasurer. He was known for his personal and public integrity and for his devotion to impartiality and justice.

He firmly opposed the apartheid regime in South Africa. This was derived from a sense of fairness and a belief in human dignity, and he worked hard to help those who were discriminated against. He was a friend to people of all races at a time when interracial mixing was barred.

When Ralph came to live in Israel in 1980 with his wife Freda, he quickly became involved in his new community. He dedicated many hours of his time to numerous volunteer organizations. Until the beginning of this year, at the age of 86, he was still a member of the audit committees of four different organizations - all as a volunteer - resulting in government authorities questioning whether he was being paid for his services.

When he retired at the age of 79, Ralph was faced with finding fulfillment and productiveness during his retirement years. He need not have worried - he was never at a loss for something meaningful to do. His rich interest in history and reading, and his passion for stamp collecting allowed him to spend endless hours researching the Judaic validity of stamps, and corresponding in all corners of the globe with fellow collectors. He also enjoyed attending rugby matches with his sons and grandsons.

He entered the computer age during this period, very reluctantly at first, and eventually became a Wikipedia fiend, filling in any gaps in his knowledge of history that he may have had. Furthermore, he honed his editorial skills and became a much-valued proofreader for the ESRA and Telfed magazines. Many hours of pedantically sifting through articles, highlighting inaccuracies, and correcting spelling and grammatical errors provided him with rewarding new challenges.

For all the community work that Ralph was involved with, his greatest joy was his family. He was married to Freda for 61 years and together they created for themselves two whole lifetimes - one in South Africa and one in Israel. He was proud of the accomplishments of all his grandchildren, in Israel and in Canada.

Our father was a family man, a loving and caring person, a mediator, a unifier. Our Dad was always such a mensch and someone we can look up to with pride.

We in ESRA mourn Ralph, a wonderful human being and an outstanding volunteer for 30 years. He started his “career” with us as the volunteer bookkeeper of the ESRA Community Fund, storing all the documents under his bed as it was the only place he had room to do so. He continued to serve in financial administration and management on the Finance Committee and later became head of our Control Committee. And he was a remarkable proofreader for the magazine, performing the job with wisdom and depth second to none, and with great sensitivity. Ralph received two awards from ESRA for his outstanding volunteerism. We loved you dearly Ralph, and miss you deeply, a wonderful human being. Merle