There was a time when it was widely believed that violence and abuse of spouses and children did not occur in “nice Jewish families”. That was a long time ago, and the myth no longer prevails.

According to Herzliya’s Regional Center for Prevention and Treatment of Violence in the Family  “Violence in the family is a widespread social phenomenon found in families from all classes of Israeli society. However, because this violence occurs within the home, it often remains a secret shared only by the family, even though everyone in the family is adversely affected, especially children.”

In order to educate professionals working in the fields of education, health and welfare services about the nature of this problem and treatments available for dealing with this cycle of violence, the Center held a meeting recently entitled, “Violence Between Couples – Consequences and Treatment”. The program included lectures dealing with the nature of violence between the acting-out spouse and the abused victim, family and social pressures that maintain this dysfunctional relationship, methods of changing the dynamics between partners and the effect on children. The children who are witnesses carry the anger and fear within themselves and they try not to hear or see the violent scenes between parents. They withdraw within themselves and try to hide, but the influence of witnessing abusive behavior remains with them.

The Center works with all members of the family: the women who feel isolated, fearful and shamed, the men who have difficulty controlling their anger and feelings of helplessness, as well as the children who need to be helped to speak about the unspeakable acts they have witnessed. Each of these participants in the drama is offered the support and help needed for them to change their self-defeating behaviors.

One of the most innovative methods of treatment offered is the Community Theater, a creative way for the women in treatment to deal with the trauma of their violent lives. By openly presenting “the secret” of their lives to others, these women develop strength needed to take responsibility for their own lives. They also help the community at large to become aware of the family violence that exists in its midst.

The drama that six women of different ages presented that morning was extraordinary. Under the direction of gifted professionals, they told their stories of mental, emotional and physical abuse and the impact of the conflicts on their own feelings of worthlessness, shame and powerlessness. To hear a woman compare herself to a “frozen chicken, without power to act on her feelings” and to actually see the headless frozen chicken being tossed about was superb theater and made for a powerful learning experience.

ESRA is a proud supporter of the work of the Community Theater, and we congratulate Sarit Kurtz, the director of the Center, and her staff for presenting this memorable morning for professionals in the community.