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Dorit was only 56 when her husband Jack died. The Shiva ended and her two daughters returned home to their families, her son to his army base. While setting her house straight and sweeping up the crumbs, Dorit was gripped by a fear that equaled her grief. Her fear was about money, specifically how she would provide for herself in the long years ahead. "Once Jackie was dead,” Dorit said, “I was really panicked about making these decisions for myself and by myself.”

Dorit’s situation is unfortunately not uncommon. Statistics show that widowhood and the plight of the surviving spouse is largely a woman’s ordeal. Women generally outlive men, and widows outnumber widowers by nearly five to one. Wives are usually younger than their husbands, which increases the probability of surviving their spouses, even without the differences in longevity.

In addition to the widow's overwhelming fear of being unable to cope alone, her concerns about her financial management skills are compounded by the fact that women are at a financial disadvantage on several fronts when their spouses die. Statistically, women earn significantly less than men for performing the same job. According to the latest annual survey conducted by Oketz, which develops tech solutions for calculating wages, on average, men in Israel earn 29% more than women in identical positions, and the gap is steadily widening. Moreover, the time women spend out of the work force raising children or caring for aging parents is often to their financial disadvantage in terms of pension accumulation and lost promotion chances.

Considering that nowadays women are likely to live into their mid-80s, there is a real concern that their retirement reserves will be depleted during their lifetime. However, with some guidance, those who are suddenly widowed will manage to cope during this time when they are so vulnerable, and will learn skills to help them deal with their new reality.

In most cases, a widow faces three transition periods.

• Attending to immediate, practical concerns: one to four weeks

• Handling financial and legal concerns: can take several months

• Planning: for the medium to long term

The following general guidelines are intended to ease the widow through what she may well perceive as an overwhelming financial maze.

1. Gather Important Documents

The initial stage of widowhood is not the time for hasty decisions. The widow must recognize that she is going through a grieving process and should not rush into anything. In the first few months, although a widow thinks she is acting rationally, and even if she knows a great deal about finance, she is not going to be sufficiently focused to make decisions. Professional financial counseling may be helpful for those who are not used to dealing with financial issues.

During this initial period, a widow should focus on gathering, organizing and making an inventory of all her assets and liabilities. The relevant documents will often be referred to, and should be kept in a centralized location.  Most of the following documents will probably be needed in the first days and weeks after the loss of a spouse.

• Will and any trusts

• Death certificate: get 10-25 certified copies
• Teudat Zehut (Israeli I.D.) numbers
• Social Security and/or other foreign I.D. numbers
• Marriage license
• Insurance policies, including life and medical insurance
• Children's birth certificates
• Financial statements for bank accounts, brokerage accounts and other savings plans, including keren hishtalmut holdings that are held in Israel and overseas
• Pension plans and employer-sponsored retirement plans in Israel, including kupot gemel, bituach menahelim, keren pension and similar plans abroad, e.g. IRAs and  401(k)s in the U.S.

• Vehicle titles
• Home mortgage
• Bituach Leumi benefits
• Social Security or similar, for those who have accumulated retirement benefits abroad
• Credit cards
• Unpaid salary
• Employee's compensation benefits
• Safe deposit box

The widow will also need to take control quickly of the household bills if she was not paying them previously.

It is truly frightening that a great deal of people do not know where all their assets are. Many women are uninformed about their investments, or even who their life insurance agent is. They may have paid all the household bills and written the checks each month, but they did not deal with the big picture.

Once a thorough search of files, home, cars and the workplace is completed, all concerned parties must be notified of the husband's death. A copy of the death certificate should be included in the notification if required.

Some titles will need to be transferred and some accounts will be closed. It is important to get sound tax advice before making any changes to accounts in Israel and abroad, such as IRAs in the US.

Items that may need to be canceled or closed include:

• Credit cards and debit cards
• Newspaper and magazine subscriptions
• Local, long-distance and cell phone service
• Cable or satellite television service
• Internet service
• Health club memberships

Before credit cards are canceled and checking accounts closed, statements must be checked to verify if any bills, such as utilities, are paid automatically by standing order (hora’at keva).

2. Collect Life Insurance Benefits

Most insurance companies will process a claim relatively quickly following the death of a loved one. This money should not be invested immediately. It is far better to deposit the money in a money market account until a solid investment plan is decided upon.

3. Contact the Deceased’s Employer

Contact the Human Resources (HR) Department of the spouse’s employer. Most companies make every attempt to help the families of their employees after death. They will calculate any benefits owed for accrued but unpaid wages, commissions, sick pay, and holidays. They can help with retirement plans and insurance benefits. Check out the possibility of continuing employee health insurance coverage for the rest of the family.

4. Applying for Government Benefits

A widow may be entitled to Bituach Leumi (National Insurance) benefits. According to the Bituach Leumi website (www.btl.gov.il), survivors are entitled to benefits if the deceased was a resident of Israel at the time of his death; the deceased completed one of the qualifying insurance periods; and, there are no arrears in the insurance contributions paid by the deceased. Benefits are assessed on an individual basis, to qualifying persons. Benefits available to those who qualify include:

According to Vera Shalom, head of the Widow/er’s Department of Bituach Leumi, the organization offers two exceptional services.

(1) Information Days, which run periodically throughout the country, in which survivors are informed of the benefits available.

(2) Support Groups, which are facilitated by a social worker. In addition to providing support and giving widows and widowers a sense of belonging, the groups, which last for 12 weeks, are designed to help survivors return to normative living. During the past year, approximately 70 groups were operational across the country.

For more information, contact Bituach Leumi on 02 646 3400 (Hebrew) or 02 646 404 (English).

If the widow is entitled to government benefits in another country, make sure to contact the proper authorities.

5. Settling the Estate

Probate is the legal process by which the estate, i.e. property, of the deceased is distributed and retitled. In Israel, the process can be very simple and straightforward, unlike in many Western countries where the probate process is often lengthy, cumbersome and expensive.

In cases where there is a Will, the assets of the deceased will be distributed accordingly. Where there is no Will, and the person dies intestate, the assets will be distributed in accordance with the Order of Succession as set by Israeli Inheritance Law.

After settling the estate of her late husband, a widow should update all relevant documents including her own Will and the beneficiaries of bank accounts, pensions plans and insurance policies.

The legalities of death, the probate process, distribution of assets and other considerations will be covered in greater detail in the next article.

6. Financial Planning

During the first few months following the death of her husband, the widow should begin to assess her financial situation. The sooner she can control her finances, the easier her financial life will be.

Start by calculating regular monthly income, including survivor benefits and pensions payments, and living expenses for two to three months. On average, expenses will be 80 percent of what they were before the death of the spouse.

Once the financial picture is in place, a financial planner or investment adviser should be consulted to realistically assess the situation. All assets must be analyzed to see if they meet the current expenditure, and if they are sufficient for future coverage. If they are insufficient, then the widow must educate herself about investment options so that the assets are repositioned to provide the retirement money necessary.

Make sure payouts received from insurance policies and pension plans are not spent. The widow should not give the money to her children. She will probably need it for her own retirement.

The idea of moving house is often considered for a variety of reasons, including financial. Initially, it is a good idea to hold on to the house. The emotional security, especially for children, may mean far more than any financial advantage. Nevertheless, a widow may eventually decide to move or downsize.

If there are adult children, some experts argue that they should not be relied on for advice unless the widow is convinced that they are knowledgeable about finances, have her best interests at heart and don't want to borrow money from what at first glance might seem like a large nest egg.

7. Take Life One Step at a Time

The stress and grief following a spouse's passing are overwhelming, and a widow will not want to spend time planning her financial survival for the next 20 to 30 years. However, although the reality of the situation will require just that, no hasty decisions should be made. Work cautiously and think about tax implications. Take the time to gather all the information, plan the next steps and then gradually and steadily, make the necessary adjustments to ensure a secure financial future.

This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for specific advice, legal or financial, based on individual consultation. Debbie Sassen, Financial Planner, has worked as a financial professional in Israel, the United States and England for more than 25 years. She may be contacted at 054 842 7638. Felicia M. Seaton, is an attorney and can be contacted at: www.feliciaseaton.com or 052 618 2582.