Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/katmere/485033249

I have been in a fairly deep depression for many years.  I say “fairly deep” because it was not the kind of depression where I could not get out of bed in the morning, shower or dress myself.  That is truly deep depression.  I was suffering internally and my level of functioning was anything but fine, although when asked I generally answered “I am fine.”

Psychiatrists had tried me on many anti-depressant drugs from all three categories, serotonin, dopamine and nuroepinephrine.  Some drugs had worked to a certain extent but none had been a cure.  Finally I was offered the option of ECT and, like most other people, my reaction was extremely negative. I was terrified. Could I be electrocuted?

For those lucky people who have not suffered depression in the real sense of the word, they have no understanding of what it is like.  I maintain that a physical illness is in many cases easier to deal with than a mental one.  If a person has cancer, society is not only understanding and supportive, but will do all they can to aid and assist in any way that they are able.  Mental illness, on the other hand, has a stigma attached to it and reference to it is to be avoided at all cost.  I feel it is my duty to talk about this rather taboo subject because I feel sure there are thousands of people out there in a similar situation who either do not know of the existence of this treatment or who do know about it and feel negative towards it.

In my case the first 8 treatments were ineffective and there was no change in how I felt, to the extent that I told my friends that it was a waste of time and an unnecessary risk. And then I had treatment No. 9.  It was a totally different story.  I woke up feeling different – the terrible weight of the depression had lifted and I felt like a “normal” person.  I actually felt happy for the first time in years.  This feeling strengthened with each succeeding treatment after that to the point that I began to worry that perhaps I had become “manic”.  The head psychiatrist, after a full examination, said “You are not at all manic; you have just completely come out of your depression.” I was elated.

What are the downsides or side effects of ECT?  These are mainly headaches and sore jaw (which only last a short time) and some memory loss. In the 16 treatments I have undergone, I have only had 2 episodes of memory loss and, although these were frightening at the times I found that all the lost memory came back within a few hours.

 The procedure of the ECT is that the patients sit in a waiting room until their name is called.  The treatment room has three beds, each enclosed with thick curtains so no one can see what is going on in the next bed.  The anesthetist then ties a tourniquet around your arm and inserts a needle into a vein into which he will place the anaesthesia.  Each time it is a general anaesthesia and, although it lasts less than five minutes, it carries all the risks that any general anaesthesia carries.  He usually says to me, “You are going to sleep now” and the next thing I know is that I am told that the procedure has already been done.  Patients are not allowed to drive on the day of a treatment so I have been back and forth by taxi.  For me the recovery is always very quick although I have witnessed that for some this recovery could take up to an hour.

The future?  I have been going twice a week which has now been reduced to once a week.  Then it will be once a fortnight, once a month and so on until the doctors feel I no longer need it.  I feel on top of the world because I know that if and when the dreaded disease rears it’s ugly head again, there is hope.  I only have to go for a lifesaving “booster” shot which keeps this dreaded disease at bay.  This is the most important issue for me, that this treatment has taken the issue of depression from the “unknown” to the “known”, and I can plan forward to a full and depression-free life.  This is truly a medical gift.  Since I have been a very long-term sufferer, I decided that I must bring this very personal information to the public knowledge.

If anyone who reads this article would like to ask questions or discuss it further, my name and email address may be obtained from the ESRA Magazine office.  If I can help even one person then the writing of this article has been worth it.