"You live where…?" is a reaction frequently encountered when people learn that I live in a retirement complex.  "But you're so young," is another comment that never ceases to amuse me.  I have become quite used to (and at three score years and ten, flattered) being asked – "Are you a carer?"  or, "Who are your parents?"; "Who are you visiting?" or even, "Why on earth do you live here?" The truth is that as a divorced woman alone, living in a retirement environment has tremendous advantages that far outweigh any minuses.

The longest period of time that I have lived anywhere is fifteen years.  After some years I get the urge to move on, and thirty years ago not only did I move house but I moved countries when I came to live in Israel from Manchester in the UK.  I have never regretted that decision.

Three years ago, once again I felt that the time had come to move.  It was at a time when I was also having bereavement counseling following a family tragedy.  I mentioned to my counselor my intention to move house. Her reaction was instant and emphatic.  She questioned, it seemed, my sanity when she said:  "Are you telling me that you plan to sell an apartment where you live alone and buy another apartment where you will live alone?" 

"Well, yes," I replied, wondering at her reaction and what on earth she was getting at.

"You're not getting any younger you know," she said.  "If you want to move you should be looking for a place where you will be looked after, where you won't be alone…"

I actually thought she had taken leave of her senses.  The cost, I imagined, of anything that might be suitable would be well beyond my budget, and I told her so. 

"You won't know that," she said, "until you check it out."  She repeated and emphasized again:  "I don't want you moving from one apartment to another by yourself, it doesn't make sense." 

Indeed.  But … she's an excellent counselor who had been more than kind, supportive and helpful in advising me on how to come to terms with my loss. I certainly didn't want to dismiss her advice - even though I'm hardly decrepit; I am fit, active, and still working.  But, the more I thought about her words, the more I thought that perhaps I should take a look around (although I had my eye on an apartment I quite liked).  I suddenly recalled that a family friend had recently moved into an upmarket retirement residence in Ramat Hasharon so, more out of curiosity than anything else, I made arrangements to visit her.  What an eye opener!  Anyone, of any age, would be more than pleased to move in immediately.  It is luxurious, spacious, beautiful, well appointed - and extremely expensive.  So even though my acquaintance was thrilled with my visit and was already begging me to join her I knew that there was no way.

I started a little project to investigate other facilities, none of which I would have considered regardless of any price – huge hotel-like buildings full of long corridors and senior citizens. 

Then I remembered a friend and colleague who, years earlier, had lived in a pleasant complex in Ramat Aviv where I had often visited.  It was well situated and I made an appointment to view.  Many improvements had been made from what I remembered and to my surprise I liked what I saw.  The complex is comprised of five apartment buildings;  two tall blocks twelve floors high, identical to the 'regular' buildings in the surrounding area, and three low ones with three floors each plus offices,  dining room, meeting rooms and a multipurpose lecture hall.  I was shown the available apartments one of which even had a private garden but seemed a little small; one situated on a very high floor and another on a lower floor.  The grounds were immaculate, there was even a waterfall, and it was only a six minute walk to the Ramat Aviv shopping mall. 

The facilities described were impressive. The reception desk is manned at all times; 24 hour security; a clinic with full medical personnel including 24 hour nursing staff,  teams of social workers, house mothers and maintenance staff. 

After several visits, accompanied by enthusiastic family members, the marketing manager and I discussed financial arrangements and soon it became clear that Dalia my counselor had indeed provided good advice.  The only person who expressed her apprehension at this new concept was my granddaughter, Yael, who whispered worriedly in my ear: "Will they let you go out?"

Three months later, I had sold my apartment close to the Yarkon River in Tel Aviv and moved in to the lower floor, two-roomed freshly renovated apartment in one of the tall buildings and felt at home from day one.  My new home is completely self-contained, attractively designed; with central heating, air conditioning, lots of roomy, fitted cupboards … weekly cleaning are all part of the service. Other facilities include a fitness room, use of a nearby swimming pool, supermarket, laundry room, hairdressing salon and a dining room where a full breakfast and lunch are available for a reasonable charge.  Lush gardens are lovingly and carefully tended by Yehezkiel and his dedicated team.

Optional activities include lectures, concerts, musical evenings, art/crafts classes, computer tuition, choir, film evenings, day trips and even short holiday breaks.  Naturally, all festivals are duly celebrated.  Held in the grounds each week is a bazaar where clothing items and fancy goods are on sale. An attractive social club is open mornings and evenings for light snacks, card games (bridge is very popular) or just for getting together with friends.  I 'borrowed' the club and held my special birthday party there for 50 family members and friends during which I made the first speech of my life.

I continue to work part-time as a legal secretary but my daily routine now also includes gym sessions, yoga, belly dancing, exercise classes and twice weekly films.  A real plus, after a lifetime's fear of water is that I learned to swim – not that anyone would present me with any medals. The very personable and flirty lifeguard taught me to swim and to enjoy and not be afraid of the water. Now I'm a regular at the pool which is open all year round.

There have been many incidents to make me laugh. One day I was walking home when I met one of the carers with her 'Saba', a neighbor who likes to practice his English with me, and I stopped to chat.  A few days later I met him again and he said, "I must apologize that I didn't recognize you the other day in the street."  I said, "Is that because I grow more beautiful each day?"  "No!" he replied.  "It's because you'd been to the pool and your hair was all wet!"

Another source of amusement is in the Chi Gong class, the last 15 minutes of which are performed sitting down.  Rafi, 94-years-young insists on fetching a chair for me each week so I do get some rather tight-lipped sidelong glances from ladies who have to fetch their own chairs.

My immediate neighbor is Tova, a retired history teacher; once I returned home to find her door wide open.  I went inside calling "Tova, are you OK?"  She was sitting by the window with a nurse on one side of her and a guard on the other and she answered, "No, I'm not OK, I've had a fall, they want me to go to hospital and I don't want to go."   Thinking I was being helpful, I said, "Well, don't go if you don't want to."  The nurse gripped my elbow and marched me to the door saying: "We can manage, thank you."  Tova went to hospital where she remained for some time since her leg was broken.  Sometime later, she fell again and broke the other leg, but I wasn't home that day to advise her.  Now, she has a lovely carer and a downside, if you can call it that is that, there are wonderful cooking smells coming from her home when I return from the office but, of course, the delicious food is not waiting for me.

Cousin Cyril who lives in London stayed with me for a few days in the summer.  After a trip to the Tel Aviv museum and a car exhibition – 'Sculptures on Wheels' presenting an historical view of the development of car designs in the 20^th century – we returned home in time for the movie mystery type film "Another Man" starring Liam Neeson and Anthony Banderas. We sat with my lovely friend, Carole (from Cambridge) who has a rather wicked sense of humor.  She whispered to Cyril, "Watch your feet because if any sex is mentioned in the film, the two people sitting in front of you will get up and leave; if there is any talk of lesbians, the two people sitting next to them will get up and leave and if, heaven forbid, the word 'constipation' is mentioned, the whole place will empty!" 

Recently I bumped into one of my neighbors and said to her, "Stella, I didn't see you at yoga this morning."  "No", she replied, "Sometimes it's hard to get out of bed so early."  I answered, "Of course, at our age we have to listen to what our body is telling us."  "Excuse me", she said, "What's with the 'Our Age'?  You", she said, half in Hebrew, half in English, "are truly a child!"

There are 330 residents, ranging in age from 66 to 100; the criteria for being accepted are being fit and able to look after oneself.  I don't want to give the impression that this is the burden of Eden - there are some residents who, sadly, always look for the negative and are in a hurry to complain about the smallest thing.  Some did not move in from choice, rather it was the choice of their family members who were worried about them for various reasons. Others lament the loss of their large homes which clearly defined their status to themselves.  Still others have some disability or are in pain which affects their attitude to life.  Fortunately, the majority of residents are charming, friendly, active and very appreciative of the excellent services. There are lots of young people about too, the carers, some of whom are Israelis with the majority coming from the Philippines or Sri Lanka.  These young women and men are cheerful, charming and helpful and bring the average age of the "population" down quite a bit.

There are no available apartments right now; in fact, there is a waiting list.  However, if anyone is interested they can put their names down – and if you mention my name before moving in there's a nice little scheme called A Friend brings a Friend and I'll get a bonus!

Of course, I have to extend grateful thanks to Dalia for her excellent advice, for her caring, her foresight, her vision - and a bit of bullying - since today I live in luxury and don't even have to change a light bulb.  Indeed the Lord works in mysterious ways.