Illustration by Denis Shifrin

Through the years my father and mother and other concerned persons told me about Mr. Common Sense; many a time I would call upon him when making decisions. It seems that he was always around in my growing years but somehow less and less as time passed by until today.  Now I would like to add a final tribute to his obituary. Please join me in a moment of silence in fond remembrance of Mister Common Sense who had served yours truly and many others so well for so many generations…

"Here we stand today to mourn the passing of a beloved friend and companion, Mister Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure the age of this good man when he heard the call way up yonder. It seems that his birth records were misplaced long ago in the tangle of bureaucratic red tape.

The elder companion in our lives will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come out of the rain, that an apple a day will keep the doctor away, that the early bird catches the worm, where have all the flowers gone?, ‘what's up Doc?’, ‘would you like to swing on a star?’, ‘the meek shall inherit the earth’, ‘my belief is rooted in hope’. Mr. Common Sense lived by simple financial policies (don't spend more than you earn; money will come if you do the right thing) and quite reliable parental advice (adults, not children are in charge; doing what is right isn't the problem – it’s knowing what is right), and to accept our failings (not - life isn't fair, and maybe it wasn't my fault).

His health began to go downhill quite rapidly when well-intentioned, but overbearing governmental regulations were set in place. Reports of sexual predators in our varied institutions angered him; rewarding the rich with bonuses while scores of people faced an empty plate made him sorrowful; and all the promises made by politicians and not kept only worsened his condition.

Mr. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do. He lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; politicians were acclaimed as Robin Hood when they were caught with their hands in the cookie jar, and criminals received better treatment in the eyes of the law than their victims. The elder takes a beating when he can’t defend himself from a burglar in his home and the burglar can sue you when you try to defend your property, claiming that you assaulted him and caused grievous bodily harm.

My friend and companion finally gave up the will to live after a woman at a restaurant failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She accidentally spilled a bit of the hot liquid on her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement claiming that the restaurant owners failed to warn her that the coffee was really hot. And his faithful doctor was sued millions when he used his skill and knowledge to save an accident victim who claimed all sorts of wrongs committed by the medical practitioner.

Mister Common Sense will be remembered by his wife 'Discretion', his lovely daughter 'Responsibility' and his good son 'Reason' and his other kinsfolk 'Truth and Trust',  'Set Straight', and 'Answer in the Positive'. He is survived by three step brothers – 'I Know My Rights', 'Someone Else is to Blame' and 'I'm a Victim'.

Not many attended his funeral today because so few realized he was gone. Well, my friends, if you still remember him, pass this message of tribute on; if not, join the majority and do nothing – fair enough.

Now, let us bow our heads and offer our prayers to a loyal compatriot, “Mister Common Sense''.