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READING Barbara Abraham’s evocative article “Food for Thought” (Autumn issue) reminded me of my feelings with a certain family visiting Israel.

As a tour guide I am accustomed to showing tourists our beautiful country, introducing them to the people and explaining our history. Often they will have a particular site or activity that they have heard about and wish to visit. Of course, where possible I am more than happy to oblige.

It was therefore a surprise to me when I found myself actively discouraging this family from doing what they wanted. The father and two post-teen sons were determined to shoot “real Uzis with live bullets”. Initially I could not find a place where they could do this (when I spoke to an army spokesman he told me it would in fact be illegal to handle firearms in this way). I therefore happily emailed them back to say unfortunately it was impossible, and with a fool hardiness bordering on recklessness - as I was risking offending people and losing precious work - suggested that if that was what they fancied maybe they should try Bosnia!

Luckily for me they did not take offence, but they did persist in their demand. In fact they themselves found the place where they could participate in this activity and sent me the details to make the booking.

On the day, I found myself increasingly unhappy with the plan. When we arrived it appeared that this was a very popular place with visiting Americans. Whole extended families - dads, grandpas and kids waited excitedly for their turn on the range. Not surprisingly to me, not a single lady stepped up to the line. The atmosphere was light, people were laughing and chatting. Even the mums vicariously enjoyed the delight of their menfolk.

When we came to pay, the organizer quietly murmured to me that I was due a commission for bringing my people. In the hearing of the father of the family, I told her firmly that I could not in good conscience accept anything as I had in fact discouraged them from coming, and I would prefer that they simply gave my commission as a discount to the family which they did.

I tried to explain that this whole idea of guns for fun was anathema to me. All my four children had gone through/were going through the army. When my kids left the house with their guns, they often went into situations where that weapon could be the difference between life and death. Every one of them had lost friends in our never ending wars. How could these people be so insensitive to our pain? How could they make a game out of such a deadly “toy”?

Of course my tourists simply didn’t get it. In fact, that brief hour turned into a highlight of what all agreed was a wonderful trip. They even carried their bullet-ridden silhouettes with them as a proud reminder of what sharpshooters they were.

It was a while before I really understood not their feelings but mine. My repulsion was in fact jealousy. I was jealous for all our youngsters. Normal should be having no experience of guns except in Die Hard and Rambo films. Being so removed from reality that you can enjoy the fun of shooting to “kill” because when you have killed, the director yells “cut” and everyone gets up and goes home!

My anger was in fact a deep sorrow that our wonderful children cope in their daily lives with a different reality where bombs and bullets and terrorists are part of their lexicon, where children as young as those carefree youngsters enjoying an outing with their grandparents watch the news with anxiety to know if - this time - tragedy would be coming into their home.

In short I wasn’t angry because these American kids could have this thoughtless “fun” - I was angry because ours couldn’t.

Having recently moved to Tel Aviv, the city that never sleeps, I take great joy in seeing our youngsters out and about having the time of their lives. There are those who worry about this - even criticize. But to me this intense passion for life is a well-deserved compensation for that other side. That when the call goes up, as sadly it did last year, the majority of these same selfish, careless young people will selflessly put their daily lives on hold and step forward to protect their country  

If only they didn’t have to.